Please No Visitors While I'm in Labor

Although it takes a village to raise a child, it certainly doesn’t take a village to give birth to one.

Which is why when I envisioned my labor and delivery room, I imagined it very empty.

I did not want my mother there. I love my mother dearly but I know between labor pains she would have said things like, “You look so beautiful!” (which clearly I did not), “Why do they keep these hospitals so cold?!” (Maybe so pregnant women aren’t so hot) and “Remember when I went to nursing school? I couldn’t take all the blood.” (Yes mom, I remember. I’ll try to keep the bleeding to a minimum.)

So definitely no mother.

Or father. Because all too often people mistake him for my HUSBAND. Do you know how disturbing that is? Yes, this is my 68-year-old husband. Who I call dad. Ugh.

So definitely no father.

In fact, no relatives would be best.

Maybe just a doctor. A few nurses. My husband. And a doula.

I knew I always wanted a doula. Well, as soon as someone explained to me what the heck a doula was. I loved my labor doula. She supported and calmed me.  She kept my husband and me from freaking out.

It was the perfect small village to help bring my first baby into the world.

And then my boss showed up.


Without notice.

While I was in labor.

In her defense, the hospital was very close to her apartment. And she did bring a gorgeous blanket for the baby. You know, the baby that hadn’t been born yet.

I really couldn’t believe that she was able to strut right into my hospital room with no warning. What the hell was up with security at this hospital? Didn’t they have visitors stations or something? Some kind of check point? My gosh.

I was as cordial as I could be while wearing a thin hospital gown and in a growing panic about how this baby was going to come out of me. But I had little patience to talk about the impending birth, the beautiful weather, Martha Stewart’s prison sentence and whatever the hell else was going on in 2004.

I sent her on her way as quickly as possible.

And then I gave strict instructions to the nurses. PLEASE NO VISITORS.

Until the baby arrives.

You know, the one with the gorgeous new blanket.

Childbirth is such an incredible moment, and I’d love to know what went through your mind when you held your baby for the first time? By replying, you will be entered to win an exclusive Million Moms Challenge Gift Pack, which includes an iPad2, a custom-made Million Moms Challenge pendant and a $50 donation in your name to Global Giving.

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This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of Million Moms Challenge. The opinions and text are all mine. Contest runs October 17 to November 13, 2011. A random winner will be announced by November 15, 2011.

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