Most singles know the basics of what works and what doesn’t when it comes to attracting members of the opposite sex. But could scoring that second date really lie in the blink of an eye, the subtle positioning of hands in a pocket or the flip of the hair?
The answer from body language expert Tonya Reiman is a resounding yes. Reiman, the author of a new book, “The Body Language of Dating,” says we send out subtle signals all the time without knowing it, and those nonverbal signs are stronger than any pickup line.
“It could be as simple as looking down and then suddenly looking up. … Maybe we’ll hold a glass in a way that kind of looks somewhat sexual. … Those are signals,” she told “Good Morning America.” “I don’t necessarily have to be a 10 appearance-wise, but if I can be a 10 confidence-wise and send out those signals that say, ‘I’m interested in you,’ you’re much more likely to say, ‘Hey, I like you! I don’t know why I like you, but I like you!”
“Good Morning America’s” Cameron Mathison sent two brave female volunteers out to a New York City bar to see firsthand what works and what doesn’t in today’s dating world. Reiman analyzed their body language from the hidden cameras and gave us her tried-and-true do’s and don’ts for single women to keep in mind, plus what women should look for in a man’s body language to gauge how interested he is.
- Be self-aware. It’s the No. 1 most important fact to know what signals you are sending.
- Smile. It’s infectious.
- Hair flipping or primping is a known turn on. “We might be playing with our hair, but we’re really saying, look at me. Those are the little signals that hit off on a man’s paternal instincts,” she explained to “GMA.”
- Be more open.
- Be engaged.
- Stand tall and hold your head high.
- Look your interest in the eye and break eye contact by looking down and looking back up.
- Touch as often as possible on nonsexual areas.
- Wear natural scents such as vanilla and lavender.
- Expose your wrists — they are but one of several erogenous zones.
- Point your body in his direction.
- Tilt your head to the left (studies show this is more sexually attractive).
- Nod your head when he is speaking.
- Limit texting, as it is a one-person sport.
- No sitting on your hands.
- Hunched shoulders are a turn off.
- Dart your eyes all over the room – it makes you look insecure.
- Cross your arms in front of your body (not only does it indicate you are defensive, but studies have found we absorb less information when we close our body language).
- Keep your hands in your pockets.
- Stand with your legs crossed (scissor stand).
- Get too close until you gauge his interest.
- Don’t rub your hands together.
- Rub or touch your nose.
- Slouch in a chair.
He is interested if …
- He looks at you and his eyebrows go up – this indicates interest
- His pupils dilate (recognize lighting).
- His lips part slightly.
- He looks you up and down slowly.
- You are his sole focus of attention (you are the only one in the room, metaphorically).
- He touches himself, anywhere, while looking at you (runs his hands through his hair, fixes his socks, brushes his suit jacket, etc.).
- A shoulder flash (which is a speedy lifting of the shoulders) conveys interest by demonstrating harmlessness.
- Posturing — erect stance, chest out, shoulders back, stomach in.
- Leans his upper body toward you.