O Little Town of Washington: What They’re Wishing For

Dec 25, 2011 6:00am

Chances are, many are wondering whether our elected officials in Washington deserve any good Christmas gifts this year (just look at Congress’s approval rating).  But we’ve come up with an exclusive, never-before-seen (and somewhat fictional) wish list for the major players around town.

We won’t pass judgment on whether the recipients have  been naughty or nice.

 President Obama would like to have Christmas dinner, that is, if Republicans are OK with it.

Mitt Romney wants a red bicycle. No, a blue bicycle. Actually, the red one. Wait, is blue still in?

John Boehner seeks a three-month, all-expenses paid trip to the Bahamas … for Eric Cantor.

White House press secretary Jay Carney wants a vice president whose quotes he doesn’t have to clean up.

Republican presidential candidate Jon Huntsman wants a name tag so his family will know who he is.

Chelsea Clinton could use a digital recorder, and maybe some J-school classes at Columbia.

Ron Paul wants nothing from anybody, because he can get everything he needs without any help from the government.

Former House speaker Nancy Pelosi would like to be back in the news, at least in a way that doesn’t involve Newt Gingrich.

Meanwhile, former House speaker Newt Gingrich hopes for a debate every day until the South Carolina primary — and preferably without pesky things like moderators and time limits.

Donald Trump told Santa Claus two things: (1) He wants a debate that he can both moderate and participate in, and (2)watch ”The Apprentice.”

Rep. Michele Bachmann wishes for lower gas prices  so that she can complete her Iowa bus tour to every single county.

Rick Perry has lots of wishes, but he can’t make them openly.

Senate candidate Elizabeth Warren is looking for a Boston sports almanac.

Mitt Romney changed his mind. Red bike.

Herman Cain could use a call from Roger Ailes.

Rick Santorum is hoping for seventh place in the Iowa caucus (or better).

Attorney General Eric Holder is hoping for another Hollywood sequel to “Fast & Furious,” if only to change the subject for a while.

And for the folks in Occupy Wall Street, how about an even longer extension of unemployment insurance and a gift card to REI.

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