Instead, the former presidential nominee, his wife, Ann, and five of their grandkids roughed it out in the "American West," hiking over 50 miles cross-country, according to Mitt Romney's post on the blogging site Medium.
In these made-for-travel-brochure photos, members of the Romney family rappel down boulders, squeeze through rocky crevices, and jump into ravines:
Romney says the (apparently enthusiastic) troupe visited Goblin Valley, Spooky Gulch, and Peekaboo Slot Canyon and even escaped "a very close encounter with a rattlesnake."
And along the way, grandpa entertained his "captive audience" with stories about their ancestors.
"Ann's side played instrumental roles in the foundation of the country, including William Bradford and Grover Cleveland. Mine were key to the establishment of our church and the settlement of the American West," Romney explains.
(These history lectures weren't exactly out of the blue. During his presidential campaign, Romney was criticized for his highly-regimented vacations, which included non-optional athletic contests, and a chore wheel.)
"We came away more appreciative of the landscape God gave us, of the sacrifices of the pioneers, and of the comforts of air conditioning and home cooked meals!" Romney wrote.
Though the post was largely anecdotal in nature, the former politician couldn't help but slip in an allusion to current events: "We were also sobered by the tragic events in Ukraine and Israel …. As we experienced the grandeur of the West, our hearts went out to those millions in the world who suffer."