'The Big Life' author debunks millennial myths on career and work-life balance

Ann Shoket, the former editor-in-chief of Seventeen magazine, argues that millennials are replacing sex with ambition in her new book, "The Big Life."
5:02 | 03/21/17

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Transcript for 'The Big Life' author debunks millennial myths on career and work-life balance
Now to a new look at millennials and the way they value work and relationships and "The big life" turns the tables on common misconceptions. I had a chance to sit down with Ann shoket and had a candid conversation. I'm not done. I still have goals. I just have to find a way to do it all. Reporter: Voices of millennial women. Carving their own path and living their version of the big life which author Ann shoket says it game changing. So I joined one of Ann's signature pizza and rose dinner parties to dine and dish about ambition, career and relationships. I thought I know a lot of things about women. I want to continue the conversation with the women who grew up with me into the next phase of their life and then I started having these conversations. And they changed the way I think about young women and their possibility. This for me, this is my big life. This conversation. Let's bust myths. You hear about millennials. You're entitled and don't want to put in the work. You want to be there already. How do you face that? For me it was a lot of bias towards my age when I first started the business but that gave me a lot of ammunition and a lot of drive. I was like I'm going to prove you wrong. I know I can do this. I will work harder than anybody. I do Dr. To say I got that a lot because I left corporate and I joined as the first employee a start-up and so a lot of people asked, oh, you just didn't want to climb the corporate ladder. You know, you couldn't stick it out. I was feeling personally just like my creativity was sapped so I wanted to go into an environment where I was really inspired. I hope that when I work hard I can prove myself. There's this huge gulf of misunderstanding between generations between millennials and the again-or baby boomers when they are their bosses. When they ask for freedom, they want to work later or work on the withes, their own hours, that's making us easier for us to have a work/life conversation. How about, I'm going to say it, work/life balance, oh! Work/life balance. Work/life balance is a sham. It's all work all the time all life all the time. I think the problem with the statement is the word balance is interpreted as 50/50. Things are equal and the work balance means something different to everybody. One point I want to make that's clear it's not just work/life balance when you have kid, right? Your life is important at every age, however, certainly gets more complicated as Stephanie knows when you have children. She said to me when we met, that her goal was to work smarter not harder. I get an extraordinary amount of fulfillment of being who I am professionally and having kids did not replace that but meant I had time in the day I had to go somewhere else as well and making it all fit. Is it true through your dinners and through your research that you discovered that sex has been replaced by the drive for success? Robin, I have tried at every dinner to get these women to talk about sex. They're not stressed bit. They're not concerned bit. It just happens. Those kind of "Sex and the city" conversations have disappeared. I think I'm still having it. My group techs should not be seen by anybody. I mean sorry to anybody who is dating my friend group. We're setting our own standards and like expectations for what we want to do. Greater sense of confidence. Exactly. We're not analyzing sex in that way. But you are analyzing the path to success, right? You want to know -- you want to know how does she do it? What does it happen? How does it go? What is her secret? More so than talking about sex but when it comes to success you do want to analyze. We've cracked the code on sex and know how to talk about it so we feed something else. Came to my table and arctic laid more clearly than I've ever heard anyone say about the challenge that you feel in finding a partner when you're an ambitious woman. I had said to Ann at the time I just wished I could find a guy who cared about anything as much as I care about everything. So like with my work and with my personal life and with my family I'm surrounded by really passionate women all day long. The big question is how do you find a partner who honors your ambition, right? I found someone who had a lot of interest. Almost as many as me. I was looking actually for someone who I could talk to about my passions and then I could see that light in their eyes and they wanted to also share something back with me. The bottom line is, I look at each and every one of you and there is no way that you are not going to get everything you want in life. Cheers. Is there cheers. To the big life. To the big life. Amen. And "The big life" is out now.

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