Transcript for More Men Than Women Want to Be Parents, Recent Survey Reveals
with this question, what does a couple do when one wants kids, the other doesn't. A recent survey reveal more men want to be parents than women trending big on "New York" magazine's website. Here's Paula Faris. Reporter: It's a predicament we've seen before in manufactures like "My cousin vinn Vinny". Women pushing their more reluctant male partners to have kids. My biological clock is ticking like this. Reporter: But for many cups these days it's the man coming down with that case of baby fever. I want a little April. I know. I just can't wrap my head around it. Reporter: It's a gender role reversal we're seeing more and more. Women on the fence about having children while their male partners are ready for parenthood. I think women are thinking more than ever do I want to have children and it's not about, okay, I have to have children, it's do I want to have children now. Reporter: According to a 2013 poll, 8 out of 10 fathers said they'd always wanted to have children. More than the number of mothers who felt the same. "New York" magazine examining this growing trend in a new article interviewing multiple women who were unsure or ambivalent towards having children. The women citing concerns over loss of autonomy, a nonequal split in child care and the affect it might have on their career. Today's young women are so much more integrated into the workforce and I think that is a lot of what's going on when women are weighing whether or not they want a kid. I think it's a different dynamic than we've seen maybe in previous generations. Reporter: It's a question the article's author, 30-year-old Bryce covert, married for six months grappled with herself. My husband does want kids and, you know, for awhile I was not sure. I really truly felt ambivalent. I'm not going to have a kid now. I still don't feel quite ready. Reporter: A parenting dilemma for a new generation of couples. For "Good morning America," Paula Faris, ABC news, New York. Thanks to Paula for that. Dr. Joseph cilona, expert for A&E's "Marriage at first sight." I was surprised by this, Dr. Cilona. Does that mean men have a biological clock? I do think many men have a strong preference to be of a certain age when they have children. They may want to be youthful enough to participate in their lives or even just want to be part of their grandchildren's lives should they have them or increase the likelihood they are. Don't women want that too, though? Absolutely. But for men, I think they're used to having a lot more choice around that question and it's becoming a lot more relevant. I see. When should the couple have this conversation? It's a pretty big conversation. It's a big conversation and important one and I'm always shocked that couples wait so many years before it comes up. Don't have it on date three but if you're seeing a big picture with the person you have to put these topicsen 0 the table. Once you put it on the table I would think if you disagree over this that's kind of it. It could be a big deal breaker. It's perhaps the most important decision you're going to make as a couple and you can't have one person say no. It cannot be that. How do you have that discussion do you think? I think this is a discussion, again, that has to happen early on in a relationship. I think the earlier the better. The more emotionally engaged you are, the more difficult this may be so something that should be identified early. Easier for the guy to push when the woman is the one who actually has to carry the baby. The woman's pushing. Well said. Yes. You know, this comes up in the conversation. How would you talk a couple through? What kind of tips would you have. The first, do not make assumptions. If many years ago your partner said I don't know how I feel about kids. Don't assume they have the same answer. We evolve. We change our minds so keep the conversation open. Hear your partner's perspective. Don't go into a fight with boxing gloves and say, we're not going to find a resolution. You'd be surprised. I think it's also important to be very honest and get clarity around your needs and values, around children and parenting, roles and responsibilities in parenting. That's one of the most important factors that causes dissension and contention. Identifying those roles because those roles are changing. You do need to be unified. Thank you both very much.
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