Transcript for 'Frank Underwood' to Obama: 'Welcome to Nerd Prom'
I'm gonna need everyone to be quite as I've got. Some secret video that we shot. Of the process of what goes into this dinner. Ahead you know you guys out there -- fight so hard for tickets this theater you fight so hard push so hard for better table please spit. But I was stunned and how intensive got a thought -- seen at all until certain congressman -- -- sitting up here pretty close up here. Tried to take over this dinner. We -- -- stockpiling all these tickets deciding where everyone gets to sit in really need you release some of these tables well you know my motto. Do you scratch my back I won't last through you'll have integrity sir I'm not gonna kind of this is the part where you need. -- happen. No I'm supposed to sit next to comment -- for the greater good and write a good thing he's -- town he has. -- do to not -- -- and not done. All right go ahead. And control and at least -- worked at. Education social security. And Valerie it is not going to happen when I'm curious if not then. -- got fired from the Tonight Show right. Yes in the -- moved over -- TV this isn't real network. No but neither is in DC. Can't we do better than Conan -- Jimmy Kimmel which. Appealed to the election and so become his best we can do. -- don't put. She keeps trying to friend me on FaceBook. Congressman we don't focus on the message we focus exclusively on and in the audience that said -- -- Kim Kardashian and -- -- and then in my just so intense. White House briefings are feast where payments until the president gives us more -- just do as I say and political gets a cut dashing and. -- alive and what is your home address books. Why do you ask -- -- -- -- the tickets -- cool. Send the office nobody knows where he lives congressman we -- paychecks to -- Oh my there's no reason to be nervous push. It. Is Valerie bad mouth -- -- to the press. Reply hazy issue out for revenge asked. Ask again later. Look I -- you -- you want to talk about immigration we can talk about immigration we can talk about the budget. I'll even talk to you about Jay-Z and beyoncé and human. Covert operations and. -- -- -- Danny is my best. So what's the problem to play basketball every Tuesday and curve ball -- -- ball but we don't want the rest of the world to know. We'll see I'm willing to break -- -- review and give -- to -- sirens again are you kidding me of all. What could -- Haiti -- swift. -- -- there. Backstage. Alone now you're in the order relative thank you gentlemen you -- the coolest whips and town you better believe it. I have to introduce me to tell us around this is a dinner I can't get -- life and Netflix to work. I have three sources of the west wing -- Valerie is on the -- -- -- things that I couldn't possibly. Is it true you've been -- -- -- where you're getting that Henry oh you -- -- -- integrity. Although I've -- -- -- it's just for. How about this -- did not retreat. -- are done in the fight on an immigration they'll ask them well I did that stingy Roy would -- yeah got to get. -- off the top. This is only toilet correspondents dinner this colonoscopy would -- -- not death. You can't run for mayor again my that'll put Anthony Weiner -- -- -- eliminate virtually identical. What do you suggest we'll present the correspondents association. Does -- position at last free union bosses when the term limits service -- And you should know mine did drinks big gulps from Ed Henry Kevin I want I suppose that -- on the -- -- -- -- -- Charlie Rose is why did you cancel last week Margaret Thatcher died I was in morning. OK how about next week well I'm already booked on the today show of Adobe and OK it's like Klebold -- at least get Bloomberg off. Only if you give me your absolute. -- questioning -- loyalty. That's -- pretty big -- 42 seconds. During the dinner to save. One -- I have one. Take forty. Washington and Hollywood and some new faces some old faces some new faces on old faces. And I can sympathize -- and not just for that back -- and Leno look. Having -- holds. It must be so hard to write jokes about a town that already is well. Democrats Republicans the White House congress you all came together to make this food that's what real blood -- looks. I -- lie -- and intended it to get what I want released the job done. So I hope somebody -- taking notes. We'll have a wonderful evening kind of sealed due to Bloomberg Vanity Fair. That is those who don't -- Vote and Mr. President. Welcome to nerve problem.
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