Transcript for A Conversation Between Black Men: The normalization of Black trauma: Part 1
ABC news law presents a Black History Month special a conversation between black Mitt. Here now TJ Holmes. Alright everybody say there and welcome. Black History Month let's get right so let's get right through this and I just wanna tell you that fills the that's Mike that's Paul on T do it. Everybody has a Reza may everybody here has background everybody has credentials before this purpose of this conversation we're about to have right now. The only credential you need to be worried about we off for black man. Thin here have a conversation and what we decided to do here is to have this conversation and just let you in. Right we're not here to do it for you we're not here to cover topics for you we are here. To check and we are doing something we don't get a chance to do a lot here at ABC news which is just let you in. On some of these conversations we have fell down about jaw I haven't done this in a while because of pandemic. I have been able to get together with the fellows and fit in have the time comes as an adult feels good have only virtually and it's called a virtual and is the fifth a completely different experience so it in a lot of ways it again this meeting you mow polo to put the Feldman though you'll for a little while. But it's good to sit here and this is cathartic and this is our little therapy session here we're about to have because I can sit here and I can say guys. Past year I'm just exhausted and I don't have to explain that deal good now you know serving flat when I say that yet what does that mean you. I've mean just sick and tired of being sick and tartan. You know this Hoyt. Normal normal circumstances you put on your armor right panel today. Call over the past year I'm not quite sure what to put on. You know because doesn't put armor is enough. I've. Re committed myself to Christ. Part. Read. I have volunteered Arafat marks on starter volunteer organization. I've spoken to his may be different political leaders. Leaders in the communities. From hard. Poured out my heart and soul is much as I possibly can under the canvas or risk reconciliation. And then a turn on television. News member of congress trying to act like what happened Judy we're six was no big deal. And I sit back and actors don't let that Hildegard duel before you know what it's all therefore. I think for me it's. We're sitting still. And for the first time. We haven't been able to do that and normally pre pandemic. Were rushing going to word quick to church. Going to our group was going to the barber shop wherever we commune rats as always is is distraction. An attendant its forces sit still when you've been sitting still firm partly march until now. You think about the micro aggressions that's ever occurred to you prior to using witnessing what happened to a mark harboring. Prior to what happened to. All the other black man who have been murdered and you sit and you have time to be frustrated. Because there is no outlet right and so when you have time to sit in to stow. And then to recognize that we're still having the same conversations were still the same black men murdered on Twitter. And unanswered ramp it we're not getting any more results and we keep talking and having the same conversations we keep marching but no action has happened you that is exhausted. You weird week we've been we're we're so busy often times that we get distracted. And now we've had topped is that people is that would you say that what we are so caught up in busy and our allies pre pandemic and we got to the people until about this all the time like when what are the black men who have comes didn't think about his team. Right there and cartoons like. Differs some of had time to actually sit myself and not be distracted by elect the outside world there and for me personally. This whole pandemic has been like a homegrown experience. I think we're used to like the things that demand has. Done to us as black people. And so what I try to do now that cannot no longer blame demand for like the issues that there and that's you can reforms the same traps over and over again hurt. So me personally at this or from the inside so that's one thing for Kobe that he needed time to like reflect internal. And it like my grow exponentially within us this whole year is true dramatic bite immigrants that we knew person just because at that time alone for myself which is overvalued. It's and we feel like we have indicated. And obligations on time this for the exhaustion I think we have to be doing it for everybody earth but right it helps when Ethiopia suffered snap yet he'll first of Frito of the people. Party hitting us something and I think. Alice speak present from a seven about job I've normalized trauma bank like I've normalizing neighborhood I live now live in a very through this neighborhood of New York City. I pretty much the only black person than a four block radius. In my building on doing black person in my building and has not doorman building and its ability at these are key in. And that there are times when my wife neighbors who I'm there they will pull the door. Yeah music with a key not paying a high amount of rain from the right. There is time for if I'm coming in late at night 1 AM 2 AM that you and I see not even that they're about. He is Jim right away. Amassing a white woman going into my building ahead of me. I wait about two minutes for her to go win that because there. Is no witnesses if she is to get scared because she's in a building with a black man at 2 AM there's no wind to account for what happened because she's afraid. I don't have a touch her but she's a freight right so then you're invoking right in itself right as all these things become this normalize and so we as black men have normalized. The pulling of the door stepping up the elevator the clutching up the purse. Crossing the street. We've normalized and it's OK we normalize beat up car to run a police officers but now bring Kohl bit that's on me about when you're sitting still. I woke up and say this is not okay. I shouldn't have to spend all this money in rent and wait two minutes for a white woman to go ahead only. Diesels are due and we will know what he is slow supposed do you go through what you spoke to make her feel more comfortable are you supposed to go head let her know OK all black and aren't a threat. What what is your responsibility take about get through that same scenario Republican that scenario this past week. Steve woman didn't wanna be on an elevator with me we've got you wait and more what I'm trying to make all the white folks around me comfortable. Man box yet. I speak first. Smile. I'm make the running joke now because the cold it you can't say Abrams smiling at the end light and leaders like a welcoming warmth but it's also. Adapting to my own normalizing the trauma that I've been experiencing in the conditions in which we've lived there. Over and over no armor and a downed golden girls Mascoll have a right. It had big golden girls night. Because I want people to know. Thank you would be in the fun. I thought I know from my indicated an exquisite the there are enough yeah provides matter mask. Yes they looked at me differently than when I Wear the golden girls math. I didn't change. The message out of change. I'm still the same person who never mention hot McDonald's which NASCAR was where. But because I am aware of your. Internalize the year. Bigotry and hostility. I'm working extra hard it's been seven dollars and 59 cents in their store to buy maps make you feel better so back to live my life. With a little that would have more fake t.s pub because I had true peace I would never have Barbara Barrett will be. And no that's absurd and we will always have that's absurd that you have to do that if you have to do that you have the same experiences as well. Why are we stuck in this position of trying to make everybody around us comfortable in the exhaust and part of an unknown Alvin through this. And this is not some anti white conversation we know there are well meaning folks and some bulls don't even realize some of their own that that the bias they may carry. But carries why why why is the redemption. Both. White folks who have been playing a role in what we're seeing in this country why is it upon us. This is even if you raised because I've that they think what TJ that when you write this conversation awfully kind of tell us what you just said that you did mention our qualifications. To Martin Blackman that we have to be qualified and too often with that we have to beat agreed to walk with the we have had the right Reza made the right now we're for the right institution. For the fact that you have to Wear a Gordon growth mask making for calmed what is it problem for girls and about love or like that on the ground and sort of clear altercation at. After the code switch to make you feel comfortable exactly put on a face. To make you comfortable but the reason I we have to do that is because of the criminal justice system have told us that we were not ruling your favor they have told us no matter what you are at fault. It Ted we have literally seen that for years we talked about how the police officers it will always stays deceit they'll put the gun down there why he did not believe that's what we see happen in South Carolina couple years ago quite mentions black man running away from in stages the gun puts it there right. Mean that we that we don't go win the resumption of innocent so when I'm afraid to go into minds or an abnormal as a trauma. I'm nor a lot normalized because if she cries foul. I don't have a chance in hell. No matter how would you vs Michigan who cares if I live in so but none of that goal about the windows I'd still before black rebel Apollo who did some eyes got to do some different. That person who was encountering him or you. Why oh why are we continuing the cycle that's got to stop at some point an eight it drives me crazy that the bonus he -- decision understand watch what has he always got to be on meet. Why not why somebody has to do different in that scenario. I think honestly we have to think I believe he can't Apollo in those days blackening you know they mean. And I think for me personally like I grip and stop and frisk of Brooklyn and I remember being a little kids like walking towards bodega. I'm gene to growth talks has grown black man and to please come out of nowhere were designed rent and carpet talk since he took two things in the rest of the DeRozan in the back in advance. Clearly did nothing so what does that the process and tell me. Does that tell me that are oh. Historic or even like the whole our mentality in these communities like what's the point in doing good if I'm and get in trouble anyway unit ending. As I'm like I'm always look made out to look like I'm the bad guy even arms and we try to do something good month. And I think that's we're kind of like some front. But we don't stop there for second we're gonna continue this conversation we will go to we're gonna keep talking but we've have to take a break here hope. But when we come back new administration there's a new hope with new policies coming with that and also I start off earlier talking about this is our therapy session book. Mental health is that he's been in the headlines a lot but we still have to deal with that sometimes in our communities that stigma. That's attest to is to stick with those votes when rookie Chad.
This transcript has been automatically generated and may not be 100% accurate.