Transcript for Joel McHale dishes on the difficulties of being a dog dad
All right. What's new? "The bachelorette" I think. Yes. We were just talking about it. Was I on "The bachelobachelorette"? I am married. How dare you. That's right. Do you think he had any right to judge Hannah about her sex life? Well, I do know that Jesus does definitely still love her. I just hope that, you know, he keeps her from, you know, sexually transmitted diseases if she does it a lot. Oh, does he have a right to say that? Yeah, because he's on that show. Right. That's what the fantasy suite is about. But he got dismissed after that, right? Yeah, he probably shouldn't be saying that. I wouldn't say it. Look, I find that show -- look -- it's -- do you have friends who have been on "The bachelor" or "The bachelorette"? No. They're the craziest friends in your high school. They're super hot and super crazy and they're like, I want to go on a game show where I compete with a bunch of other people to find the person of my dreams. That's a lunatic, right? Yeah. Do you have any friends that -- is that how you found your spouses? No. No. Joy? It's tough to find a -- Did you go on a game show to find -- Only for money. They're always from Scottsdale. I'm from Arizona. They're all from Scottsdale R there you go. A lot of girls I went to high school with. You know girls from your high school? People from my high school have been an "The bachelor." I used to make fun of it on the soup all the time and people were offended. I'm like, it's a deranged game show and they're like, how dare you. It is a fantasy and I hope Lucas finds love. I think after 30 days -- I don't know. The last time you were here you just -- It was one year ago. It was one year ago. You just got that bulldog, that French bulldog. Oh yeah, I got a dog named bean bag. What's his mom's name? Pinto. Pinto bean bag. Pinto bean bag. Then we were going to call him gar bon zero at one point. That is the calmest he's ever been. I think he's sedated. Oh. He loves you. That's not necessarily love. Yeah, that's -- that took like five minutes for him to finally -- do you have the one with sound where -- oh yeah, he's attacking a German shepherd. That's him -- Just doing things. You got to show the one where I'm doing the Patty cake with my wife if you have that. There it is. Watch this. . That's "The bachelor." You know, I think they have medical marijuana for dogs like that. Oh, I am not kidding when I say there is CBD oil for dogs and our nanny brought it and she did not give it to the dog but the dog got into it, drank the whole thing. This dog? No difference in behavior. Really? Exactly the same. Did nothing. So I think they have to bring in some sort of large animal tracker to tag him. He's happy. He's very happy. He believes he's the king of the That's great. Don't put meth in your toilet. Now that I know, I will no longer put meth in my toilet. Well, you are the host of the new game show "Card sharks." Are you excited about it? I'm so excited. That clip that we showed at the beginning was so funny. That guy was great. He was great. You say -- He won $200,000. That's the thing. You say it's the best thing that you've done, one of the best. This is the best thing I've ever done right now, guys. No, I -- look, as you know, my heart is the size of a burnt out peach pit and I get -- so when people win the money I start -- I literally start crying and I'm like, it's fine. Then I feel like I'm helping them and -- but if they lose the money, then I was like, sorry. Then I just give them a little punch. No. No, but it's really -- like that guy won 200 grand and he's like, my life -- Life changed. Yeah. Believe me, I never thought playing a high/low card game -- it's very simple but all of a sudden you can win $700,000 and people are trying to guess whether the card is going to be higher than an 8. You should go on the show, you guys. Yeah. It's really -- I just never thought that I would be this into it.
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