Secrets for dating in the post-pandemic era

Dating coach Connell Barrett is the author of “Dating Sucks but You Don't,” a guide that helps men make real connections with women by embracing “radical authenticity.”
4:55 | 06/15/21

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Transcript for Secrets for dating in the post-pandemic era
We have an interesting segment here. Our next guest, a dating coach who embarked on a five-year journey to master the male/female connection. He started coaching nearly ten years, helping data transformation, helping people around the world find love. And here today with advice from his brand-new book, "Dating sucks, but you don't," the modern guys guide to confidence, romantic connection and finding the perfect partner. Welcome dating coach and best-selling author Conor Barrett. Let's start with the fist question. You went on a five-year journey to master the male/female connection. What did you learn? Amy, I had no dating confidence back in the day. I didn't just live in the friend zone. I owned real estate there. And what I did is I went out and hired guys to coach me. And what they mostly said was be an alpha male. Be a bad boy. And that just didn't work. Because I'm not that guy. I'm a nice, nerdy guy from Ohio. So I did something that felt really radical. I started going on dates with women and just leaning into my authentic self. Showing them that nerdy, dorky "Star wars" guy that I am. And a lot of women started to really like me. I think because they were seeing the most confident, real version of me. And I guess I realized that when I started coaching other men, I wanted to test this and see if it worked for most guys. So I went out with single dads, with introverted guys, but instead of pickup lines I had them walk up and do knock knock jokes or use puns. Whatever their authentic personality was. And these guys had amazing transformations. Where they got girlfriends. They got dates. They found their soul mates. And I realized that what people want in their dating life is authenticity. And when I had this epiphany I said I've got to bottle this up and teach this formula and my book is that formula. Okay, you have to forgive me here. What I'm hearing, do people really need a coach to tell them to go out and be yourself? It sounds like it is that simple. Be confident, be yourself, and things can kind of work out. It is that simple, but it is not easy. It is not easy because we're all afraid of rejection. We're all afraid of getting ghosted. W're all afraid of being told, hey, I'm just not feeling it. But only by the courage to showing yourself who you are. Whether you are a nerdy, dating coach, or a cool "Gma3" anchor or whoever you are, showing people that real vulnerable self is what creates the authentic connections and that is really the secret to dating success. I know you have got some dating advice and we're going to do a rapid fire round with you. I know you have agreed to do it. So, first up, what's the biggest dating mistakes singles make? The biggest dating mistake is listening to the little voice that says you are not cool enough. You are not special. You are not attractive enough. That is the villain that creates so much loneliness and datelessness to people. What you have to do is tell that voice to shut up, I'm awesome and buy into your awesomeness. Best online dating tips to establish a strong connection. Best tip is follow the rule of three, two, one. On your dating profile. Write three things about yourself, specific things you want people to know. You want to list two things you want in a partner and you want to paint a picture of one thing on your profile of a first dated you might have with that other How can singles instantly become more charismatic and confident. Singles need to do what I call become radically authentic. Which is lean into that nerd or dork or hipster or whatever you are. You become more confident because you already know how to be you. And you become charismatic to the other person if they like your type. So basically you want to become -- you don't want to be a watered down wine spritzer. You want to be a shot of really good scotch and give that person a glass of the good stuff. Wow, okay, I like that. I kind of want to end that, but I got another one here. Three moves for great first dates? Follow the three Ps. Number one, be very present in the moment. Second P, you want to be passionate, talk about your hobbies, your passions, the things that you love that makes you more attractive. And the third P is be playful. Have staring contests. Do thumb wrestling, play games on dates, have fun. Dating shoulbe fun and playfulness is very attractive to other people. We're laughing right now. So thank you so much for being with us. We appreciate all of the advice. I love the name of your book, "Dating sucks but you don't," and it's available everywhere

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