Sheryl Sandberg opens up about the death of her husband

The author appears live on 'GMA' to discuss her new book on overcoming grief, 'Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy.'
7:11 | 04/24/17

Coming up in the next {{countdown}} {{countdownlbl}}

Coming up next:



Skip to this video now

Now Playing:


Related Extras
Related Videos
Video Transcript
Transcript for Sheryl Sandberg opens up about the death of her husband
FaceBook CO Sheryl Sandberg who's also. On the board of our parent company Disney taught us how to lean in with her best selling 2013 booked in two years later. Her beloved husband de Dave go over died suddenly and unexpectedly. And now Cheryl and coauthor Adam grant are showing us how to make the most up option B. If the title of their new book would you please welcome a dear friend of our Sheryl Sandberg back. I enjoyed reading the book got so much out of it and I'm gonna say something right here in our control room Lilly our dear director just lost her. Father and she really needs this segment as many people do in suffered loss tell people what you mean by. Option B. My husband died suddenly. And it's it's not unimaginable thing to live mail I I Kelly there's avoid closing in on me and would be able to breathe and above all I really worry that my kids happiness would've just been wiped out Matt instantly lost days. Anti turned to my friend Adam grant says psychologist. And I said what do I do way to get myself through this get my kids through that's. And what he taught me was that not born in fixed amount resilience and some muscle every one can bells. Few weeks later. I was talking to my friend fell. About a father son activities that Dave was he can be here to do and we came up with a plan to fill in for gave. But and I sent I want Dave want Dave to down and he set option is not available. So let's just kick them moving. Out of option B. We along with some form of option B you've lived your cancer. People go to prison people lose jobs people get divorced people suffer unbearable loss. And the question is then why how to uniqueness of. How do we make the most of that how do we not only help ourselves but also hope people. To help us can't get through this and and one thing to you know this is an elephant in the room. There right away there literally there's an elephant in the room and you talk about how would you went back to FaceBook. There was an elephant in the room the death of your husband but wait we were so do we talk about a do we not talk about it it's the and looked at them. Well I love the Taft Allison because for me you know wasn't just increase it was the isolation before I lost stay if Kotnik kids up at schools that had everyone. Walked into the office every one chit chat. And then not so much. And anyone I know who's been through cancer says that happens to them in RA. Or any of these other kinds of adversity. And I understand that because I east to do this to you I thought someone was going through something hard the first and I Sodom I would say something. But if I brought it up began I was bringing it up reminding them. That's assert. Its remind me at last Dave I know I lasting every day to this day and I always well. Some people containing thing it felt so isolated felt like there was a huge elephant. Following me around and one of the reasons and I read option B. Was to kick that Allison out of events that we can be there for each other when we need each other demands. No TV is that stuffed animal. Tell people and I love the book the three piece that really got me I never really thought of it like that tell people bout that. Psychologists talk about the traps that keep us from recovering. Personally nation blaming ourselves we blame ourselves for cities that were our fault blame ourselves for things that weren't even when we make mistakes and all humans do. Self compassion is huge for recovery. And both men and women need to do better but women particularly. Pervasiveness. It doesn't affect all areas of your life after Dave tank. Even months later I felt guilty Lafayette LA Louisiana survivor's guilt is sim bay in it comes from Bob forms diversity. Why did I survive and my cancer there and no announced it. Letting yourself feel good about the things that are still left in your life and permanence. Knowing it would not feel that way forever when I lost Dave I thought early grief those days where it felt like every day was a month. We'd never get better and you know what decrease is still here answer Steve but it is not like it was two years again. And I'm hoping this book helps people believe that in a way that I didn't. You're going to help a lot of people. You also talk about things that you should not say people's hearts are in the right place but this sometimes they say things when people. Are grieving such as. Well it's about acknowledging paints and even the very standard greeting me I'll do every day is how are you. Well I just got tightness of cancer. I'm not say that. I just lost my husband it's hard to answer that question how are you today like that it acknowledges I know your live in minute to minute dated today and on there with you. The power of doing something rather than offering to do anything I east of Eden but some was going to something hard I would say and I meant it. Is there anything I can do a world class that's a classic line from everybody we meanwhile only say that but to be specific about what that's right yeah so. When I heard that question it's so hard to answer it kind of shifts the burden to the person you're trying to help and I did have an answer can unique father's taken away so I don't have to live here every year. Rather than not just to something make your friends Deanna master Levy tragically lost a son you're in the hospital for months. I'm one of their friends texted. From the hospital lobby and said I'm in the lobby for a hug for the next hour whether or not you compact. Of that of that shell that show up and as you have the beautiful op Ed in the New York Times today. And talking about resilience which you talked with out of a lot in the book and. And specifically about your children how are they doing to pay your children how hard day at how have they been resilient through this. My kids are incredible kids have incredible resilience and they need it. They needed if they face trauma like mine so many children face and was hardship. But they needed for the daily things in life and I'm really proud of my kids they have they have perspective I would not wish on any child. But they have it. Few weeks ago my son's basketball team lost the playoffs. And a lot of the other little boys were pretty upset the recent years. And I looked to my son and I said how are you. And he said mom. It's his sixth grade. That thought picked up for Annika and find. We have twenty seconds left joy you end by talk about choice he had Torre back in their life. I too and I tried and noticed that one of the best suggestions as write down three moments of joint day because no matter what hardship we're facing. There's a moment to coffee tasted my daughter gave me an on someone gave you smile. And and we sent these country yes and to say we're gonna get contests we are gonna get through this. Yes we are here for and Sheryl Sandberg it is called option B itself now.

This transcript has been automatically generated and may not be 100% accurate.

{"id":46976214,"title":"Sheryl Sandberg opens up about the death of her husband","duration":"7:11","description":"The author appears live on 'GMA' to discuss her new book on overcoming grief, 'Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy.' ","url":"/GMA/video/sheryl-sandberg-opens-death-husband-46976214","section":"GMA","mediaType":"default"}