Transcript for Is Social Media Helping or Hurting Your Relationship?
"Modern romance." And an important question, is Facebook helping or hurting your relationship? Well, we asked you to share some of your relationship goals and got a wide range of responses making it clear that now more than ever what we say and do online is changing how we live our romantic lives. Let's face it social media makes it hard to remain anonymous. Okay, so after a quick scan of his Facebook, tumblr and instagram and Pinterest here's what I know. Even getting the hashtag treatment and researchers began to ask what effect does social media have on our love lives? If I have tagged you and say I love you, you're tagging yourself in front of all of your friends and all of their friends and family. Reporter: Some of the biggest negative factors include stalking, distrust and jealousy but social media is still such a new phenomenon that only a handful of studies have been done and the results decidedly mixed. Definitely take all of these studies on social media with a grain of salt. Reporter: For example, one recent study looked at 205 Facebook users between the ages of 18 and 82 finding in general that relationships soured for people who had been together for less than three years and had high levels of Facebook use. However, another recent study finds that pairs who share everything from their status to pictures on Facebook could be in it for the long haul. All right, here with me now the author of the "The modern girl's guide to life," Jane Buckingham and can you explain that discrepancy? I mean, it seems to counter one another. Does Facebook or social media help or hurt a relationship? Well, you know, the study had different criteria, different lengths of relationship, different ages so you have to be careful to see what they're based on. We did a study of 18 to 34-year-olds and what it said was that 81% of people said they were actually fine if their partner never posted about them. So, you know, I think that people really vary in how they feel. And they also said that 33%, they actually never do post about their relationship so I think some people are. More private than we think and you have to be careful about your relationship and some people want to be private about it. Having said that 48% of them did say that they do stalk other people's relationships on social media so they're looking to see if people are breaking up, what's going on. Or comparing their relationship to others. Yes, and I think that is one of the problems and when we look at sort of the dos and don'ts in your relationships that's actually one of the first don'ts which is don't try to keep up with the joneses because I think when you do that, you're always thinking, my partner is not as romantic. People usually only post the beautiful vacation photos and all the amazing things they're doing. Exactly and it's cumulative so it's not just your life, it's everything's life. Comparing it to so how could anybody keep up to that and it's impossible. No one is posting the fights. No. Everybody's life is perfect on social media and your life seems really, really boring and then, you know I think one of other don'ts is that social media makes it so much easier frankly to be bad, to cheat. You know, the analogy I use like dieting. I could barely keep my hands off this candy for five minutes so if you download -- Yeah, right, no, not yet. But if you download the bad apps and download the things that make it easier to have temptation in front of you, then you're going to be naughty so don't. There are some app recommendations you do have for couples online. These are interesting ones. I didn't know about them. One is fix a fight. If you get into a fight you can just sort of download it. Now, look, it's not going to replace in person. If you're away or feeling like you're in trouble then you do that. You can look at the intensity, wasn't too bad, this one. And then there's another one called aftvocado where you send your spouse or partner a happy face. This I love. I'm obsessed with calendaring and calendarer with your partner and android, there's one called lockbox so on their lock screen you can send them a little heart. You can send them something to let them know that you're thinking about them. Even if you don't have words, maybe you just have a heart or an emoji. Or a "Hi." Don't treat them like you do your co-worker or don't treat them like you do your best friend. Don't do a dtg or winkie face. I don't even know what that means. Don't do something that makes them feel like someone else. Do something that makes them special.
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