Transcript for Man Describes 'Creepy' Gay Conversion Therapy
The next day therapist came to my middle school youth group and told us that he was an expert in this that your sexual orientation could be changed and should be changed if you're attracted to men. And then later that year when I discover those attractions and myself. I connected with him and I saw him on and off for about ten years. In an attempt to change memory attention when I was eleven he gave me some books and have phone conversations and exchange letters and he and he armed me with the facts that. Change was necessary changes possible. And so for the next ten years I've focused my primary energy on trying to change and I spent countless hours in a room by myself and reading books. And working as hard as I could praying fasting. Trying anything I can imagine to try to become straight because I'd been told that change is possible it was necessary. So I tried for years and years to change who I was I just felt more and more depressed and more and more on lovable and more and more like a failure. They've been told that I should shut in could change but I contend that change. His entire premise tracks get there he was was made up it was made made up of outlandish techniques and theories and the belief that I was not masculine enough for wasn't comfortable with my masculinity or wasn't comfortable with my attractiveness or was too distant from my father. So a lot of that was talk therapy and thinking through ways to be more masculine. And then it didn't do little bit weirder once I was nineteen he had me lay in his arms for a solid hour hassles to feel the strength of another man and smell the smell of another man. He's positive that this would. Help me to overcome the same gender attractions as he called them. And he asked me very personal and sexual questions. And we spend an inordinate amount of time in his home alone just the two of us. A darker beard creep here and after enough time and enough investment thankfully averaged a point right realized change wasn't possible and it was necessary. When I had invested myself so fully for all these years I just saw so little hope in the world I didn't see away from need to be happy until live a full life. When the options were to continue to fight. And and try and change my orientation in hate myself or to accept it and live a life. I'm depression depravity he told me I would have a fight supplementation. I didn't see a hopeful future for me. And eventually Knight I explored the option and thought about what if accepted him and it was obviously the mistress a commitment.
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