Authors of 'The Confidence Code for Girls' share ways to help girls develop confidence

Claire Shipman and Katty Kay appear live on "GMA" to share actionable ways parents can help their daughters develop confidence and discuss why it is such a critical trait for women.
6:24 | 04/03/18

Coming up in the next {{countdown}} {{countdownlbl}}

Coming up next:



Skip to this video now

Now Playing:


Related Extras
Related Videos
Video Transcript
Transcript for Authors of 'The Confidence Code for Girls' share ways to help girls develop confidence
Now a parenting alert about how to help your daughters be more confidence. It's all part of a new book out today called "The confidence code" for girls. We'll speak to the authors. I sat down with a group of tweens to talk about the struggles they're facing. Raise your hand if you'd like to be more confident. These New York girls between 12 and 14 years old are entering an age of self-doubt. This is age group you naturally start to doubt yourself more. Absolutely. Look in the mirror sometimes is so hard. Why do you start doubting yourself more. As you get older you tend to think more about what other people think of you rather than what you think of yourself. You're like, oh, maybe this is true or like and then start doubting yourself. It's hard to get out of your head once you believe it as well but really deep down inside you, you know it's not true but when you keep hearing it over and over again, you're like, oh, my god, this is true. They're not just worrying what others think. They say the fear of failure can be paralyzes. How scary is failure? Very scary. Like on a scale from one to ten, ten. I keep thinking way too far ahead like what college am I going to get into? If I get a bad grade on a test I'll overreact and be like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Just like you. Literally used to say this in elementary school. If I don't get into a good middle school then I might end up in a bad high school and then I'll end up in a bad colleges with a bad job and living in my parents' basement and I will live alone. That's so me. I have thought about that so many times. This fear of failure is not uncommon. In "The confidence code," authors Claire shipman and katty Kay say between ages 12 and 13 the percentage of girls who say they're not allowed to fail increases by 60%. Impacting life choices. So just recently they had tennis tryouts and I'm pretty good but I didn't do it. Which didn't you go for it. I was afraid I would mess up. Do you feel like you'll live with that regret for a little bit. Yeah. Art class, there will be these competitions. And I have a like started some pieces but haven't entered any because I'm scared that people aren't going to like it. Reporter: While they are afraid to fail shipman and Kay say taking risks might build their confidence. Both failing and winning because if I win I know like I can do. Reporter: And it's taking that chance that just might be the key to cracking the confidence code. Do you think your confidence would grow if you took more risk. Definitely. That's like the biggest part of confidence because if you trach a risk, then you like get that feeling that you know you can do something and then it gives you more confidence and then you keep doing more things and then you kind of reach the peak. Taking risks can be so empowering. Authors Claire shipman and katty Kay are here. Congratulations on the book. Thank you. So insightful. Claire, you conducted a poll and seeing a significant dip in confidence leffs in girls ages 8 to 12. Why is that. We were startled. We teamed up with a research firm and we found that between the ages of 8 and 14 confidence is dropping for girls by 30%, in fact this, is when the confidence gap between men and women starts and girls are 22% less likely to call themselves confident. Why is is it? First of all, we have to remember how we make confidence. It's not what you think essentially. It's by taking risk, struggling a little, failing and working through that process so right at puberty req, emotional intelligence soars but makes us more cautious and often people pleasers and parents and teachers play into it and encourage the good girl syndrome. Who doesn't want kids who are always doing everything right. Girls are much better at it than boys are but by the time they're in high school they're full-blown perfectionists and they're not taking risks or failing. You mentioned taking risks and failing and katty, what can we do to empower our daughters. Some is counterintuitive. We want to protect them. What we need to do is get our daughters comfortable with the idea of being uncomfortable because you build confidence when you try stuff that is new and hard and you get out of your comfort zone. But when we watch our girls struggle it's terrible for us as parents and breaks our hearts. It's heart wrenching. We have to get used to the idea that struggling is good and get our girls used to 9 idea that struggling is good and boys are doing it much more than girls are. That might be why they have higher confidence levels. I think we're all catching on to this, right? What we'll do, our audience, see if you know how to navigate it. Everybody, have your clicker in hand. We want to see if you get these answers correct. The first question, no pressure at all, okay. The first question, which is most important for gaining is important for gaining important for gaining confidence is self-esteem. What say you, ladies. You haven't learned yet. We thought self-esteem and confidence were equivalent when we were writing the book but, in fact, the most important thing for confidence of those four is struggle. Incredible. I know it seems counterintuitive but it's that process. You have to take rink, fail, do things that are hard and work through it. It's a struggle then you build confidence. One more question, always better to be overprepared, true or false? Survey says from the audience. True or false. What say you? They say -- oh, it's a dead heat. Wow. What is the answer, katty. Wow. Be overprepared is super exhausting. Way better actually to let your girls fail. Get them used to the idea of failing. Katty and Y and Claire, we got to G you'll be back tomorrow because

This transcript has been automatically generated and may not be 100% accurate.

{"id":54188787,"title":"Authors of 'The Confidence Code for Girls' share ways to help girls develop confidence ","duration":"6:24","description":"Claire Shipman and Katty Kay appear live on \"GMA\" to share actionable ways parents can help their daughters develop confidence and discuss why it is such a critical trait for women. ","url":"/GMA/Family/video/authors-confidence-code-girls-share-ways-girls-develop-54188787","section":"GMA","mediaType":"default"}