Transcript for Ask Ali Wentworth
have some real aha moments. We've brought in one of the wisest and funniest advice givers we know when it comes to relationships or really just about any topic. If you're confused or curious, you can always ask Ali. Please welcome Ali Wentworth. And we must mention you are married to our -- what would be a nice adjective for George? The incredibly smart guy who holds the show together at "Gma," George Stephanopoulos. That's beautiful. The glue. The glue, that's very kind. He's an anchor here at work and you're the anchor at home. That's exactly right. I'm the wise one as they call me, yes. You have a great book and you give great advice in your book from your experiences in life with your friends and everything else so we love having you here because we're able to bring our audience out and have them ask for some advice and you crime in. They're clawing to ask Ali. We'll throw our two cents in if we have enough time. Okay. Do you want to get ready to I've been here since 3:00 A.M. I'm ready to go. We're going to get started with ask Ali. Here we go. What is your name and where are you from? I'm Elsie from Rochester, new York. Hi. I work day shift. My boyfriend works evening shift, over there. We want advice on what to do for couples who work opposite schedules. Well, welcome to my marriage. My husband gets up at 3:00 in the morning, like Michael does. He's like, I'll see you at 7. But he goes to bed really early so we've had to adjust. What you do is -- who's on the late shift, your boyfriend? Yes. So you need to find either the time before your late shift or when you come back before her shift and that's going to be kind of your time. I don't know if that's like making an omelet and having coffee or if it's before the night shift and you're snuggling and having sexy time but you actually have to carve out -- I'm sorry, have you not had sexy time yet? They both look terrified and started laughing. So you can light candles and pray to the lord or whatever it is you do in your time together but you have to carve that time out to be a couple no matter what. Then I feel like when you do have during the weekends or whatever, times when you don't work, you two give that time to each other. Put the phones down, no one else matters because that is your time. Absolutely. There is some truth to missing each other. There's something good about that. It can be used as the silver lining as well because you have your weekends together so allowing yourselves to have individual lives and coming together, you probably do more on that weekend. I totally agree. In quality than most of us I get more texts when George is on "Gma" than at any other time. That's not him texting you. I'm actually on the phone. Thank you very much. Thank you. All right, who do we have next? What's your name, where are you from and what is your question? My name is Lori and I'm also from Rochester, New York. What? I know. We've always had children, my husband and I, in the house. Next year our daughter Natalie, after next year she's going to college and there's nobody else home. Wait a second, is Natalie your youngest? Yes. My youngest, Harper, she doesn't go to college and get married. She stays home and takes care of her parents. I told my daughter Harper you're changing bed pans and making mommy applesauce. I don't know what we're talking about Vanderbilt for. But here's the truth. When you become an empty nester and of course I'm in my late 20s so I only have babies still but my older friends like Sara, my older friends, they have told me that it is the anticipation of that that is so anxiety making but when they leave you get to rediscover, as Oprah says, your next chapter. You can start a majong club, you can be a dominatrix. You can write a book. You can do whatever you want. Did you say dominatrix? Yeah, if you want. She doesn't want to limit dreams, Michael. Exactly right. Or you could start a business. The world is literally your oyster and you're smarter and wiser now and older. You can just guilt her up for coming home for Thanksgiving and stuff but otherwise, like, this is kind of an exciting time. Enjoy it. Yeah. Hello. Hi. We got a couple question. That's what I'm talking about. Bring it on. What you got? He's making me do all the talking. My name is Melissa and this is my husband Kevin and we've been married for 15 years on Wednesday. Congratulations. Thank you. So our question is for the next 15, 20, 25 years, what is the key thing to maintain a loving relationship? Just one -- I know there's a lot of things but one thing. Sex? I'm going to step out of this one because I've been married twice and it doesn't add up to 15 years. I'm going to remove myself. That's why I looked at you. I was like, what are you going to say about that? All right, Sara, you say sex? I was kind of joking. She says nine months pregnant every year. I know. And amen, sir, right? I know communication is overplayed but one thing that's worked in my brief five-year marriage is max and I always get on the other side of a rough patch by talking when we've calmed down and saying I recognize this was my part and this was your part and we get past it by talking about it, not in the heat of the moment and not like make up before bed type of thing, eventually when mama calms down but I think that's helped us, the talking and always having conversations about moving it further and getting better as always helped us. I don't communicate with my husband at all so I can't answer to that, but I have found that, believe it or not, a sense of humor helps. If you can laugh -- You'll be together forever because you are hilarious. But George is not funny at all. Right? You don't go, I'd love to see Chris rock in concert or George Stephanopoulos, but George appreciates humor. So we laugh at the same things and there's something very bonding about that and a physical relationship. It's the one thing you have with that person. That is the most important. It just is. It fuses you in a way that hopefully you're not doing with other people and that is your union. That is your union. So back to sex. I will tell you one other thing. I will quote Michael J. Fox who said this recently on Jimmy Fallon, keep the sex dirty and the fights clean. Oh, oh. That's actually really smart. Very. Congratulations on 15 years. Congratulations. Hello, hello. Hi. My name is Verna from Virginia Beach. Life can be very busy and filled with lots of distractions so I know a lot of couples have a hard time finding time for date night so date night is few and far between for a lot of couples so my question to you is what is your idea of a perfect date night? Now or 25 years ago? Now it's in my pajamas with my glasses on and my iPad in bed with a big border right here. Oh, that's sexy. I'm just saying when you get sort of -- that's the thing we fall into. That's what I'm joking about. We get busy, we get tired. You're just like, you know what, I want a date night but I just want to get into bed and watch housewives of Atlanta. You have to fight that. You really do because date night is -- you have to shave your legs and you have to go to a restaurant and really communicate and talk to each other because it is really easy for us to make that such a low priority. George and I, we have completely different schedules and we're busy and he's exhausted all the time but we make a point of I don't care if your date night is 5:00 in the afternoon, you make it a priority, you just do. I say the same thing to couples, there's a lot of sexless marriages out in the world and I go, I know we're all tired, we all have the stomach flu and feel fat and disgusting. You push yourself, you make it a priority. Put your phones down. Yes, put your phones down, I hope, during sex. All right.
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