Sara's Book Report with Sloane Crosly and Meghan Daum

Sara welcomes the authors of "On Being 40(ish)."
5:33 | 02/14/19

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Transcript for Sara's Book Report with Sloane Crosly and Meghan Daum
Welcome back. Today's choice for "Sara's book report" hit home for me. "On being 40ish" is a collection of some of the most relatable and entertaining essays about welcoming the big 4-0. My personal belief is that every decade has been better than the last. I'm owning 41 wholeheartedly. Reading about 15 women's various perspectives in this book is fascinating. The insight shared by these brilliant women will provide comfort to those freaked out about 40. Meghan taught me not to get so caught up in societal expectations. That you lose sight for what's the best path for you. Sloane's section is the self-acceptance and empowerment pep talk we all need. So please welcome both of them to "Sara's book report." Hi. Let me hug both of you. Hi. Nice to meet you. Hi. I can't lean over very well. I'm top-heavy. Many of the essays center around celebrating life. How did you guys welcome 40? Do you remember? I think you had a big celebration. Well, I just turned 40. I've just sort of crawled into it. She barely qualifies. We'll lot you stick with that. My need to emphasize that is not great. I had a party at a friend's house in Brooklyn. I had a dinner party. Every person got a magazine from 1978 that corresponded to their personality. Which is a little nuts, but it was really fun. So fun. Now, what did you do for 40? I'm not a big birthday celebrator. I think I just kind of closed my eyes and let it wash over me. And then -- I woke up the next day. It was like, I had been 40 all along. The emphasis is, one, it's just an excuse to party. Because the emphasis on that day. You're only one day older than you were the day before. And I was pregnant on my 40th birthday. So it wasn't a whoop and holler. It wasn't the way I envisioned. But it made me feel young. Was there a moment when each of you felt 40? Or do you even feel 40? Do you? I kind of -- I felt 40 when I was about 12 years old. I was one of these kids that always wanted to be older. And I wanted to be grown up. Maybe the reason I didn't feel the need to celebrate my 40th birthday was -- Because you had been there so long? Yeah, I took care of this on my sweet 16. That's true. What about you? It's almost like a prescription for vision. Like internal age vision. I feel like I'm like an 80/20. Sometimes I feel 80. And I sometimes feel 20. I rarely feel 40. I feel like either a child or my sciatica. My brother was always like, you act like a 90-year-old woman my whole life because I never went through a phase where I was fun, wild, and crazy. People refer to the 20s like -- the 20s were superresponsible. The 1920s were great. So I can't relate. But internally, not mentally and spiritually, I feel so young. Until someone tells you you're not supposed to, you feel superyoung. I feel like we need to redefine the age, rather than try to understand what it was supposed to mean. Just make it your own. These essays do a brilliant job of it. I have to say. Meghan, you talk about same life higher rent. And the idea of people having a situational set point. You make the comparison, which is hilarious to me, of having a weight won the scale. In the same way most of us have a set point in terms of our weight, like we can kind of claw beneath it or drift above it. But usually, all come back. You always end up at this one number. And so it occurred to me that I have a situational set point. And the way I talk about this in the piece is, so when I was in my 20s, I had a certain kind of life. I lived in New York. I had my own apartment. I was single. I kind of just -- Sushi takeout. I ate packaged sushi off my desk for dinner. Love it. And I just kind of had a fairly free-wheeling life. And I assumed I would outgrow it. I assumed I would grow up and become an adult. I did. I got married. I had more of an adult life. I ended up becoming single again in my 40s. I found myself once again having a similar but more expense apartment in New York that I lived in by myself. And I sat at my desk eating more expensive sushi from whole foods this time off of my desk. And I realized, actually, this is the perfect life for me. I didn't need to grow out of it. I needed to grow into it. Where you shed the societal expectations. Which is the maturity, I think, of that. Yes. There's so much expectation. I want to make sure I get to Sloane, too. What can you tell me about accepting beauty at your age? I'm not at my wizened age. I'm not a beauty expert. I'm an expert on spending way too much time in the bathroom slathering nonsense on to my face. Magical potions. I know. The essay really is about how beauty used to be associated with you had to have good teeth meant you were rich. You were advertising the hospitality of your womb. Now it's a separate thing. Which can be very fun. I think people should have fun with it. It shouldn't be like, if I'm not X, Y, Z, this amount of beautiful, it means I'm old or I'm young. You should do whatever is in your control and within reason. Thank you both. I found so much wisdom in these pages. I recommend people reading these. This is for anyone 40ish or

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