Finding meaning during a time of loss

David Kessler, founder of Grief.com and author of "Finding Meaning" discussed ways to turn grief into meaning and purpose.
6:26 | 07/07/20

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Transcript for Finding meaning during a time of loss
Coping with the loss of a close friend or family member may be one of the hardest challenges that many of us face. Lyndon B cool Schulman whose son Scott died a hero protecting his students during the Parkland school shooting turned her grief. In some meaning and purpose take a look. My name is Linda eagle show me another Scott JB the teacher cross country coach who was murdered in the car when massacre on February 14 2018. And Marjorie Stoneman Douglas school. Scott love campus. He left his students keep children. Yeah being able to mentor Scott started going says legally kicked the age sex and he got on the bus and never looked back she loved him I believe. That's what this kind of just got to be Scott he went to camp or it was 28 Summers it would have been I believe his 29 summer and eager and past the age of thirty right Scott was touted as Tom well. Are singing better at his funeral. That they had asked me how many people are would be there. And to be quite honest I settled maybe a hundred the rabbits at least that is where did you gotta be changed to make a little story short. There are a thousand people and his hero and we had to live stream it because he knew people all over the world from going to camp we had. Half a million people stealing I decided at that moment that I was never going to lure a nice arms. I was gonna celebrate his life in order to celebrate his life I had to go photo people always say to me which you get the strength. It's sad because my grief of Scotts has led to Paris. And that purpose keeps equally. I will never heard his death and will always celebrate displaced because that's what we have to do to keep going I had to do something that. He would be proud and it would be in his corner. So I decided that this catchy beat memorial fund would be created in his garner a legacy for him. And disadvantaged children touched by gun violence to summer can. If we can teach children and we keep giving them. And experienced. Like they never had before. And we get half that left him a look forward to going to hit the race track did then it's a blessing of Potomac kids. And I tell you it's you who feels so good when your gifts this this is why we started scratching your memorial for. Because east of the kids that needs. The opportunity. That Scott to communicate I really believe that means and means what characters each show. Important to find a purpose that beauty. Overshadowed him because you doing something I hope whatever Scott business. As you just wanted to be senator. Well we are all smiling and Linda that was so beautiful joining us today to talk about finding meaning during a time of loss. Is grief expert and author of finding meaning David Kessler David thanks so much for being with us and first let me ask you. Haven't you come into this profession helping people deal with grief. Thanks Amy. When I was younger I had a mother who was dying in an icu I was stuck in the waiting room at her hotel where we were staying. There was one of the first mass shootings in the US at the exact same time so it's such a young age I dealt with so much loss. And there was no there really helped me at that time and there weren't camps like the way Linda put together. So high I spent so many of my years trying to heal and learn about grief and making my profession and was privileged to work with Elizabeth cooler Ross on the five stages. Of grief. And a few years ago my younger son unexpectedly died. And when that moment happened so brutal. And I had to go through grief like everyone else. And tying. When I got to this stage of acceptance that wasn't enough. I knew I needed to find more hype I knew in my soul I needed to find meaning top honor him. And that became the sixth stage of grief and I am. So thrilled that the Elizabeth cooler Ross family gave me permission debt at a stage to her iconic stages and we want our loved one's death to mean something we want our lives to honor them and to change the world. So how are there are ways that week can do that because it sounds beautiful and I was listening to. This story from Linda and listening to yours Torino as a mother I can imagine how you get to that place. Yeah it is hard Gary you know the tips like put together that they are not easy but just like you so related there is so much purpose to be found. The first UPS helping his healing. We saw that would Linda's work in honor of her son it helps us get hopes the world. The second tip is finding meaning doesn't have to be big you don't have to start an organization or change a law. It's really meaningful moments. May be your loved one was so kind and you take on some of their kindness. To make the world a better place. The third one is meaning takes time and this is an important one every loss has mean. And meeting isn't in the death. There's no meaning to be found in a horrific shooting or in someone dying of cancer. Meaning is our response it's what we do after. And it may be months or years till we find it. And four. Hits remembering would mourn loved and pain. And meaning doesn't erase the pain you don't get to go around the paint but it does become a cushion for your pain. And five. There's no right or wrong way to find meaning just like in grief there's no right or wrong way to do it there's no timeline. In grief. It's about how you do it and no one else's way of doing it it's about your experience and honoring. So many of us needed to hear your words today David thank you so much we appreciate you sharing them with us. And David's book finding meaning is available where ever books are sold be well.

This transcript has been automatically generated and may not be 100% accurate.

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