Online Dating Secrets to Being More Desirable

Some of OKCupid's most popular users reveal what they do to their profiles to score hundreds of messages.
8:29 | 07/29/14

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Transcript for Online Dating Secrets to Being More Desirable
Tonight on "The bachelorette," and Dorfman found her perfect match. The rest of us don't have a squad of TV producers stage producing our romantic lives. We need to find love either the old-fashioned way -- I met my wife on a blind date -- or the new-fashioned way, on the internet. Tonight meet people who claim to have cracked the code of online dating. They are definitely showing results. But are they the kind of results you'd actually want? . I'm doing it so fast it's not loading their photos. Reporter: All is fair in love and war. When it comes to online dating do some know how to cheat the system? I've tried every type of persona I think imaginable. Other than just saying, all I want is sex. I sit and click on every single profile that I possibly could. Because then they see that you're looking at them. Reporter: Tanner and Jessica live thousands of miles apart. But have one very unique thing in common. They're two of the most popular people on ok cupid, they get more messages than nearly all of the dating sites '11 million users. I get novels. Novel descriptions about what men will sexually do to me. I'm sitting there with popcorn, delete. Reporter: It's the new age of romance. From those seeking a rose on reality TV to those looking for love online. With 1 in 10 Americans logging on to find their match, one of the most popular online date carries know the average users don't? This is just from today. Reporter: When it comes to the nearly 400,000 new yorkers on ok cupid, tanner is at the top of the heap. A status the 34-year-old copy expert says he's earned with years of experience and a truly astonishing amount of strategy. I tripled the amount of women that I had sex with in the time I've been on ok cupid. I'm not necessarily the best-looking guy on there, so if I want to get someone's attention I'm going to have to come out swinging. Reporter: How? For one thing, he raises interest in his profile by littering it with conversation starters including a favorite music list that includes every single musical genre known to wikipedia. To me, the girl, they're scrolling to the bottom, who's this guy? Reporter: Tanner's most important strategy is tailoring how you approach a woman, using hints in a woman's profile to compose a message she's most likely to respond to. This girl spent eight minutes on her profile. That's all she will ever have to do. She's 21. Pretty cute, from Russia. Probably fulfills like 20 different fetishes on a bunch of different guys. I got a notification she liked me. So I tend to act young, or like a young person would. Oh, you like me, that's cute. I nailed it. She posts a smiley face. Is it? Look how she's responding to how nice I was. Two days later we had sex. Reporter: Effective but what ever happened to honesty? I'm not a total fraud, I'm good at embellishing the truth. Reporter: 26-year-old Jessica says she doesn't have a strategy. For becoming one of the most desirable women in Los Angeles. I was like, I don't have any selfies, I don't have any head shots, so I don't understand where this is coming from. Reporter: Jessica joined ok cupid when she moved to L.A. Two years ago. I was in this stage where I was newly single. I went on this serial dating spree. As I really got to know what I liked and what I didn't like I started to like cut down my profile to make it more about like me and putting myself out there so that like I was attracting the right guy as opposed to just like casting this huge net. Reporter: That backfired. Instead of narrowing her dating pool Jessica is inundated with messages from men, as many as 700 a week. Hi. Hola. Hi, sexy. I read your profile, what do I win? No, I don't -- if you want to take the time to write about yourself, then I'm not going to take the time to respond to you. Reporter: We met Jessica as she was about to head out on a date with one of her ok cupid suitors. How are you? Good. Reporter: As it turns out, Jessica does have somewhat of an edge. She works as a professional dating keep, advising her male clientele about their love life over Skype. You have to rely on her 68ing or going. In terms of am my coaching helping me, it forces me to make better connections. Reporter: Jessica believes her success is all about being unique. And how many people can say, oh, I'm funny, I'm charming, I have goals, I have passions. It could be anybody on the planet. Anybody can look at that and be me too. Until you know that I play lady gaga and sing along to lady gaga on the piano. How are you going to know what sets me apart from other people? Reporter: Jessica and tanner may have cracked a code to filling their ok cupid indocks are box. What if you care about quality, not quantity? Getting the right matches is something the data whizzes at ok cupid have been working on for years. Just today they revealed it actually conducts experiments on its own users. Including suggesting bad matches. Also to better understand what makes online daters tick. Can they help one user improve her odds of finding love online? I think lately I've been just jaded by the whole experience and kind of don't really care anymore. I want to do a story on a real vampire. Reporter: Mandy is the editor at large for the popular website xo Jane, where she chronicles misadventures in online dating. She once dedicated a whole post to the bizarre ok cupid messages she receives. What do you want in a perfect world? What kind of response would you want to get from your online dating profile? In a perfect world it would be a guy who knows how to ask a woman on a date. He says, I'm interested in you because of, specific example. Are you curious about how you could possibly improve upon this? Oh, absolutely. Reporter: Sean Patrick Henry is a developer for ok cupid, expert on how people online date. Nice to meet you. Some of the simple things to start with are, go ahead and fill out your details. Reporter: Rule number one, fill in the blanks. The more details you provide, the easier it is for matches to find you. There's a lot of ways you can find somebody else on the site. But one of the things that people use are search filters through specific details. Reporter: Rule two, give them something to talk about. Ask an open-ended question or list interests. Put something specific in your profile for them to pick up. If you put more things in your profile that lead to a conversation, then they have something to talk about. Maybe these guys are Reading this, they find you attractive, you match a lot of things. They don't know what to talk about. I'm trying to do a road trip home to San Diego because I love road trips in the car. So would that be a good conversation starter? Yes. Say that, then ask like where should I stop? Reporter: Rule three, pictures are critical. Choose photos that show off your personality, but you might want to resist using flash. These are the photos on your profile. This is a fantastic profile picture. It asks questions, seductive, the red lipstick. It shows personality. Here we have -- she looks pretty but she's with another man. Do you think women should post photos of themselves with men they're not related to? Depends on the context. If you want to show you're social. This is almost intimate. The other thing in this photo that's against you is you used flash. We've found photos with flash actually add six years to your per seefbl age. Really? That's awful. I'll never use flash again. Reporter: Mandy was off to change her profile. We checked in to see if the makeover worked. So this dude said, I find you extremely fascinating, when to guys that's a good thing to say. Yeah, it was really helpful. I didn't realize how inaccessible I was coming across online. But by adding in things like an ice breaker question, encouraging people to reach out to me, I think i'm getting more and better messages. Reporter: Mandy hopes prospects lead to actual dates. For Jessica and tanner online popularity has translated to lots of dates but real love may be a ways off. This is really awesome, I had a great time with mark. And I was very happy. Coming up on "Nightline,"

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