How Transgender Parents Will Tell Their Kids Who They Are

Bianca, who was born male, and Nick Bowser, who was born female, conceived their two sons naturally.
7:49 | 01/17/15

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Transcript for How Transgender Parents Will Tell Their Kids Who They Are
. When you're a child, your mom and dad are your entire universe and Ta universe is expanding. And two little boys in Kentucky are part of the expanding world. Their transgendered parents have endured the most. A mom and dad who haven't told their neighbors they were not born this way. Haven't until tonight. Reporter: On the surface the bowsers may look like an ordinary family there's mom, Bianca, age 32. Dad, nick, he's 27. And their two rambunctous toddlers, Kai, age three, and Pax, 17 months. But in their wildest dreams these two parents never imagined they would get to enjoy this kind of ordinary. Because behind her long black hair and feminine figure, Bianca was born a boy named Jason. And despite his cropped hair and whisper of a moustache, nick was a born a girl, named Nicole. We fit, you know, the basic definition of what a transgender person is. Our children do not see us as transgender people, we are mommy and daddy. Reporter: A mommy and daddy with a twist. Both were born in Georgia and have followed remarkably mirrored paths. How old were each of you when you first realized "Something's not right. I don't think this is matching up." I guess I was about 5 years old. I remember sneaking into mom's closet when she was off at work and, and putting on a pair of heels. But I've always felt more liberated, uh, during those moments. What about you, nick? I always thought I want to be a boy. I, you know, I looked at boys, I saw, you know, guys with their shirts off and I was like "That's what I want to look like." Reporter: As teenagers feeling trapped in their bodies they faced cruel taunts. Name calling and being picked on and bullying. What kinds of names? Queer, fag, um, the, the general -- The cruel things. My mannerisms were more effeminate and I just did not fit the mold. Reporter: Nick said he didn't have it any easier. He left home at 17. Was your family supportive? No, they were not. No. Wow, so both of you experienced a lot of rejection. Around trying to figure out who you were as people. Right. I don't think anybody can understand what it's like to be us. Unless you're transgender, you -- Unless you're transgender. No. 20 is when I came to terms with being transgender starting to live my life as a woman, applying the makeup, wearing women's clothing. And is that when you first truly feel like you found happiness? That is where a heavyweight on my shoulders was lifted, yes. But even after struggling so long to find their true identities they still never believed they'd find anyone else. Did you ever feel like that, like no one's ever gonna ever want to be with me because of who I am? Yes. Reporter: So neither of you ever expected to find a soul mate, a life mate? No. No, not at all. Reporter: Each was taking hormones and considering expensive surgeries to transform their bodies into genders they so deeply believed they were born to be. I had planned on the gender reassignment surgery. And I was starting to save up my money for it, I had already made my plans and then I met nick. Reporter: Bianca, a performer at a local club, was getting for her act. And one night Mick walked in. He caught my eye, and our bartender friend, um, I asked her if she knew who he was, and she said yeah. And I said, well, just let him know I think he's cute. And Bianca walked up to me and said who she was how quickly did you, the two of you fall in love? It was pretty instant for me. Reporter: They dated for a year. And marriage, a small ceremony in Georgia. The first dance and a first step to a life together, one in which their most intimate moments require literally reverting to the sexual identities with which they were born with but rejected. People want to know how we have sex. I'm like, "Well, how do you have sex?" Same way you have sex. Same way. Right. Um, it works all the same way. And you're, in essence, when you are having sex, you're having sex with a man, right? I don't view Bianca as a man. Regardless of what she might have. For me in my head that, that's not what I see, it's not how I feel. Reporter: They began to consider what every married couple does, having kids. Putting aside any plans for gender surgery, they decided to spend the money on a raising a family. So nick, who had spent seven years becoming a man, agreed to undergo another physical transformation, becoming a mother. It was an absolute horrible experience. Really? The almost 20 months total of my life was probably the darkest time in my entire life, my brain was telling me that I was one person, my body looks like a completely different person, it was a daily struggle between mind and body. You were afraid to walk outside because people would outside because people would see a pregnant man? I didn't want to leave the house. Reporter: Nick dplifred delivered both boys by cesarean section. They moved to this quiet neighborhood in Louisville, Kentucky. And as we followed this modern family to the toy store and the aquarium we wondered what happens when these lively toddlers grow older and start asking questions. What are you gonna tell these two beautiful boys one day about who mommy and daddy are? I don't, I don't know when, you know, when or how. Gradually and in ways that they can understand. I mean eventually the questions will come about. Schools calling us and saying "Your child said that his mommy has a penis" and things like that. Better have an answer ready for that one! Every child loves to hear the story of how they were born. And Kai and Pax have a big twist to their story. They do. They came out of daddy's body. Right. We're telling them the truth, and I think that's the most important thing, and in a way that they can understand. Reporter: Nick and Bianca have a lot of faith and hope that their children will understand and that their neighbors and school friends will see this family and them as human beings, nothing more and nothing less. I would like to think that society as a whole, by the time, you know, Kai is in third and fourth grade, will have changed. I mean it's changed from 15 years ago. So why shouldn't it change in the next three to four years? How many people here know that you, while you look like a man and a woman, underneath right now, you are still a man and a woman. Currently, the people that we work with, after this airs I don't know. I was gonna say. With the caveat this is about to be on national television. I mean are you a little worried that when people see you on "20/20" that, um, there's gonna be a reaction to this? No. Not concerned. People will always have opinions. Basically what you want America to know is that you are -- No different than anybody else. Well we're different, but

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